Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
