I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
