ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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