Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
