I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Randomize