There was a lot of him and a little penis
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
