you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
