; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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