Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
