Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Randomize
