I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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