well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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