We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
return my video game
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Randomize
