I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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