good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
