my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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