I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
