ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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