...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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