I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
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