I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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