OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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