how can u be prego again
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
