Don't you send me to vm
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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