I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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