I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
