I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
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