evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
