This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize