i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
