Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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