Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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