I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
