It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
