If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
