I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
