she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
No subtext here. People are naked.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
