whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Randomize