So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I need moral support for this bender
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
