You're my little dorito
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
