It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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