White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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