You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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