I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
A+ Viking dick
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