dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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