Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Randomize
