His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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