It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
