i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Randomize
