I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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