you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
