i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
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