You're my little dorito
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
