This dress was meant to end up on your floor
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
