Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
