I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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