I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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